From Girl to Woman

From Girl to Woman

 

Buying a first bra can be an emotional experience for both mom and daughter.

As a woman first, and a mom second, I understand it’s not just about the bra but approaching the subject correctly. I thought being open and honest as well as being pro-active by buying some sports vest tops and broaching the topic would go smoothly but no – my child is a bit of a tomboy and at 10 years old, was appalled that I even brought up the subject about her wearing a bra. “Words like you want me to grow up too fast; I don’t have boobs & what is wrong with you”, came out of her mouth. I was so shocked – as I believed my approach was the right one.

 

I then tried the lighthearted approach but somehow that didn’t work either. Just to let you know a little about her personality – She is very shy, a conservationist, loves the water and loves to wear surf shirts, and would actually prefer to be in her rash vest and baggies all day, so she is nowhere near a “girly girl”.

 

I know that as her mom I need to continue being patient. I have in the meantime taken the behind the scenes approach – just go ahead and buy a bra and deposit in the drawer, maybe she will let me know when she needs a bigger size – here’s living in hope.

 

But in saying that, the above is just not enough; I knew I needed to find out more from the professionals. After a little Google searching I came across Satin Candy and submitted a few questions that I hoped they could answer.

Here is their response:

• When it comes to choosing a first bra for my daughter, should I rather introduce her to the vest sports top or crop top? You should definitely choose either. See it as a transitional garment as she probably doesn’t need support from the bra as yet. Basically, she needs a little bit of coverage for the beginning stage of her mature breasts – what we call ‘stonies’. But more importantly you would be using this as an introduction to a piece of clothing that is very fitted and that she will be wearing for the rest of her life; so it is better to do it in stages, or else you will scare her further than she already is. A crop top or a tight little vest just to hold the ‘stonies’ in place, to get her used to the idea of underwear, is perfect.

 

• When do I get my daughter her first bra? She should get her first bra when her ‘stonies’ have become little boobs. And even at this stage, the bra should be very simple, without wire or padding. You can usually tell by the way her clothes are fitting; if the vest isn’t covering or hiding her little boobs, it is probably time to introduce the bra.

 

• Where do I buy her a bra as she is so overwhelmed right now – I would hate to further embarrass her by taking her to a large retail store? It is traumatic for the little ones when their hormones and body are running riot, especially as these days the girls are developing at ever younger ages and perhaps are not emotionally prepared for boobs. I would suggest that you visit Satin Candy as an ideal first bra experience for many reasons. Besides the obvious advantages of Satin Candy being discreet, intimate and fun, the team has time to empathically and gently explain what is happening. Understanding the reason for a bra and how they work, helps to calm, not only the little ones, but any one. Satin Candy is a specialty store, there is no embarrassment or uncomfortableness from the staff and this rubs off onto the younger ones; they begin to realize that it is normal and that they are among fellow females who all have been through what they are going through. They are usually having fun within a short period of time and are excited to return.

 

• So how do I know when my daughter actually needs to start wearing a bra? This is a personal choice for parents and children. It totally depends on each individual family, their beliefs and most importantly, the child. If you or your daughter is concerned about the little ‘stonies’ showing through her clothing, then introduce her to the crop tops. You can also bring her into Satin Candy just to get used to this new chapter. We love to teach the little ones and change their nervousness into curiosity. Once she is used to the idea of breasts and bras, she will probably be the one to initiate the next step and asking for a more grown up bra.

 

• What do I need to consider when buying my daughter her first bra. Stay calm and relaxed. If you are nervous, embarrassed and/or dominating, your little girl will not have a good first experience which will determine her relationship with bras. Most importantly, remember it is HER bra. You should guide, explain and suggest, but let her ultimately choose. It will empower her and take out some of the embarrassment. You can still control her choices by giving her only a limited number of appropriate options.

 

• Is it important to get her fitted, especially with her being so mortified about the prospect of wearing a bra – really don’t want to scar her for life. We are always afraid of what we don’t know and shy away from it. The more you can teach your girl, the less mortified she will be. Although she may not need to be fitted yet as she doesn’t need cups and wire, it will benefit her to partake in the ritual and see that it isn’t as scary as she thinks and that in actual fact, with the fabulous and crazy fitters at Satin Candy, it is like being in a special club for girls! She will benefit just by being in the shop.

 

So, If you truly want to help your daughter with the wonderful world of bras, the best thing is to empower yourself first! If you have confidence in choosing bras, are proud of your assets and know your way around fitting and sizing, your daughter will learn from you.

If you come to Satin Candy, we will guide your daughter through what she needs to know when she needs to know it. The best thing for you is to be a support for her but also allow her to take ownership.

Thanks to Satin Candy, I now have hope. Plus, daughter number two has already asked when she is having a bra fitting party… so round two will be a little easier[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]